


Bad Memories

by Robron101



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Angst and Smut, Depends on how you look at it, M/M, Smut, maybe dubcon?, not much else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron101/pseuds/Robron101
Summary: “Sex,” Aaron shrugs and then picks up the empties to throw them away. “One night of sex, no strings or feelings and that's it.” He turns around in the kitchen to face Robert. “Well?”Aaron goes back over to the sofa, stopping close to Robert. “What if I can't do one without the other?”“Then we won't do it, but are you honestly telling me that you of all people can't fuck and not feel anything afterwards?”“Not with you I can't,” Robert admits and Aaron feels a little disappointed but he shrugs anyway and makes a move to sit down and act like this never happened when Robert grabs hold of his wrist to stop him. “But I want to anyway,” and he jerks Aaron forward.





	Bad Memories

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since i've done the whole smut thing so be easy on me. It was supposed to be simple but my angst side came out, it always does, and this got written.

Aaron tries to remember how they got here but for the life of him he can't. One moment they'd been arguing, somehow Robert had twisted it around so Aaron was laughing instead and then Robert had gone all soft and told Aaron how much he missed him. Next thing Aaron knew he was inviting Robert 'round the flat for a few cans a football match. 

Aaron's realising how bad he is at being an ex husband. Robert, the man who did him wrong and he's sworn off is sitting on his sofa, drinking his beer and watching football on his telly. Aaron almost has the nerve to send Robert packing but he's on his fourth beer now, the alcohol was fuzzing up his brain and he's feeling extremely relaxed and comfy when Robert busts out laughing at something from the telly that Aaron missed and draws in Aaron's attention. 

Robert looks good, which seems unfair because isn't there some unspoken rule about looking worse for wear after a breakup. Aaron took up boxing and that's kept him in shape, if he hadn't he's sure he'd have gained a few pounds from the extra drinking and greasy pizza nights at home. Robert, however, looks just as good as ever. Skin tanned and stomach flatter than when they were together. He's recently had a haircut that looks great and he's wearing white today. Aaron was always a sucker for white on Robert. 

Robert reaches over to pick up his can and lifts it to his mouth, tilting his head back to give Aaron a wonderful view of expansive column of his neck and he watches the way it works as he drinks, Adam's apple bobbing. Aaron's either drunker than he thought or hornier but he can't stop himself from being turned on by the sight. 

“Hey,” he said to catch Robert's attention. Robert stopped drinking long enough to give Aaron his attention. “Wanna shag?” 

Robert's eyes widen a fraction as he sets his drink down then turns his whole body to _really_ give Aaron his full attention. “What are we - what are you offering?” 

“Sex,” Aaron shrugs and then picks up the empties to throw them away. “One night of sex, no strings or feelings and that's it.” He turns around in the kitchen to face Robert. “Well?” 

Aaron goes back over to the sofa, stopping close to Robert. “What if I can't do one without the other?” 

“Then we won't do it, but are you honestly telling me that you of all people can't fuck and not feel anything afterwards?” 

“Not with you I can't,” Robert admits and Aaron feels a little disappointed but he shrugs anyway and makes a move to sit down and act like this never happened when Robert grabs hold of his wrist to stop him. “But I want to anyway,” and he jerks Aaron forward. 

He spreads his legs and pulls Aaron until he's standing between them, Robert's eye level at Aaron's groin. Robert licks his lips and reaches up to grab at the button of Aaron's jeans. 

Aaron's breath hitches as Robert undoes them, slowly slides the fly down before looking up at Aaron. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron nods and Robert's gives one of a his own and he pulls down Aaron's jeans and briefs, revealing his half hard cock. He's been half hard since his second beer. “Yeah let’s face it, we always get sex right.”

Aaron's legs shake when he feels Robert's hand on his cock, two quick strokes of his hand that aren't exactly comfortable without any lube or spit has him growing harder. Robert pauses long enough to have Aaron wonder why he stopped, and when he meets Robert's eyes they hold a question: _Are you sure?_

“Did you forget how?” Aaron questions jokingly, hoping to ease some of Robert’s nerves, as well as his own. Aaron may have been the one to suggest this but that doesn’t mean he isn’t nervous, this is his ex after all and god knows what can of worms they’ll be opening by doing this. 

Before Aaron can convince himself this isn’t a good idea, Robert rolls his eyes and licks up the underside of Aaron’s cock, swirling his tongue around the head of his dick before latching his mouth to the tip and sucking. Aaron’s knees feel weak from the moment Robert gets his mouth on him, he bites down on his lip to hold back any sound but Robert seems to be having none of that because he’s trying very hard, using every trick he knows Aaron loves to get him to make sound. 

It works when Robert relaxes his gag reflex and let’s Aaron’s cock pop in and slide down his throat, then does Aaron finally give way and let out his strangled moan, fisting a hand into Robert’s hair. Robert moans when Aaron tugs a bit and when Robert pulls back and off to breathe does Aaron see Robert already has his own cock out, stroking himself as he goes back in to keep sucking at Aaron’s dick. 

It’s been months since someone else touched him, months since Robert touched him and he should feel a little embarrassed by how impossibly quick he’s coming up on the finish line but it just feels amazing to have a hot, wet mouth to do the work for him instead of his own hand. 

When the tingling sensation in his spine begins and white hot arousal swims in his belly does he warn Robert, pushing his head away, trying to ignore how impossibly good Robert looks with too red lips that are slightly swollen and glistening. 

A part of him wants to go upstairs, have a bed underneath them but sharing that bedroom with Robert will be too difficult. “I’ll be back,” he promises and dashes upstairs after removing his trousers and briefs, grabbing a half bottle of lube and a condom. Back downstairs, Robert has already stripped, eagerly hoping for more but leaving his underwear on in case Aaron has changed his mind in the twenty seconds he was gone. 

But Aaron hasn’t, he removes his shirt so he’ fully naked and drops to his knees in front of Robert, setting the lube and condom on the sofa next to Robert. He hooks his fingers into Robert’s underwear and pulls them down and off, throwing them somewhere behind him. He takes hold of Robert’s hard, leaking cock by the base and wastes no time in getting is mouth on him. 

Robert’s hips jerk involuntarily causing Aaron to choke and gag. “Shit, sorry,” Robert confesses and he kept himself firmly planted when Aaron goes back down again. 

When Aaron has his mouth on Robert again he prides himself on how well he knows how to do this, which tricks make Robert moan the loudest and say his name, what has him on the verge of begging and panting. It’s almost like riding a bike, only so much better because a bicycle never begged to be ridden faster and harder. 

Aaron grabs the lube he cast to the side, only pulling off to coat his fingers. Aaron looks up long enough to see Robert’s face and he watches the older man swallow before reaching behind himself for his own hole. He doesn’t miss the way Robert almost looks disappointed, 

“Can I,” Robert struggles for a moment before clearing his throat and asking more confidently, “can I bottom?” 

Aaron hadn’t pushed in and without giving an answer he pushes Robert backwards on the sofa so he’s lying down instead. Aaron climbs up on the sofa and in between Robert’s parted legs. “Raise ‘em,” Robert does. Aaron’s not fussed, he just wants to fuck and if Robert wants it this way. 

When he’s got two fingers in Robert, stretching them slightly inside to open Robert up more, does he start searching for Robert’s prostate. Robert hasn’t flagged a bit, still hard and leaking against his stomach and Aaron isn’t much better. He doesn’t know how but he seems to have forgotten how beautiful Robert can look when he’s getting ready to be fucked. He crooks his fingers in Robert’s hole when he finds that spot and starts rubbing, 

“Fuck!” Robert let’s loose, body jerking at the shock of pleasure. Robert’s forehead is shiny from sweat, his cock jerking on it’s own accord when Aaron’s presses hard against Robert’s prostate. “Jesus, Aaron!” Robert gasps. “Can’t you just fuck me already?” 

“Patience,” Aaron chides but it’s all in good fun because his own dick is flushed and aching hard, begging to be stuffed inside Robert. He works another finger in, making sure Robert is properly stretched before removing his fingers and fumbling the condom on. 

“Ready?” Aaron asks. 

“Was ten minutes ago when you decided to play doctor with my prostate,” Aaron rolls his eyes, used to Robert being impatient 

“Shut up,” Aaron grumbles but doesn’t expect Robert to listen as he pushes in, going slow to savor it for himself and so as not to hurt Robert. Aaron makes a choking sound, revealing in how amazing Robert feels around him. Tight and hot, searingly so and just so fucking good. 

He collapses against Robert, just stopping shy of cracking his skull against Robert’s. His hand finds it’s way into Robert’s hair again as the other one digs fingers into one of Robert’s thighs. Robert’s panting in his ear, the sound of it it encouraging. When Aaron bottoms out he takes a moment to enjoy just how amazing it feels to be inside someone again, but it becomes too real who it’s with when a hand strokes up and down his side and a hot kiss is pressed against his temple. 

It makes him remember that Robert’s underneath him, it’s Robert he’s inside of, it’s Robert whose body is quaking against his. “Aaron?” And that’s Robert’s hot breath against his ear, sounding worried because Aaron hasn’t moved yet. 

He regrets it now, knew he would later when he was dressing and trying to ignore Robert as he did so too. Knew he would regret when he saw Robert again and that link he’s tried so hard to sever between them would be there again and he’d have to work at breaking it another time, but he didn’t expect to regret it now. Not when he’s got a willing man with him, one he knows is great in bed and one who still cares about him even after all this time. 

He’s so fucking stupid, he should have known before suggesting they shag that it would be a daft idea. Because this is Robert. His one weakness in the entire world and he just had to invite him over, had to admire how he looked, had drink enough to bring the question up in the first place. God, it’s like he almost planned it. Then again, maybe he had. 

“Aaron?” Robert said again, sounding even more worried. “Do you want to stop, because we can?” 

Aaron lifted his head from where it had dropped into the crook of Robert’s neck and looked Robert in the eyes. “Why would I want to stop?’ 

He kissed Robert then, effectively silencing any protesting his ex husband might’ve had. It was hard at first, a little painful, but eventually it turned soft as Aaron pulled out then thrust back in, swallowing up Robert’s moans as they came fast and more wanton with each snap of Aaron’s hips. 

They’d both have bruises later, more pronounced tomorrow. Robert around his hips and neck from where Aaron was sucking marks into his skin and digging his fingers in, and Aaron on his back where Robert’s fingers dig in and one at his shoulder when Robert bites down when Aaron thrusts right against the spot that makes Robert’s toes curl and make a sound that can only be described as a whine. 

It isn’t until it’s all over, Robert having come so hard he saw stars and dug his fingernails in Aaron's skins so crescent shaped imprints were left behind and Aaron coming half a second after Robert squeezed down on his cock so good he couldn’t stop himself from coming even if he wanted to, that the mistake really began to settle in. He was basking a bit, lost in the post orgasm thrall, it has been a while after all, but as he’s lying on top of Robert, soaking it all up does he feel Robert’s lips pressing against his temple in a very familiar way, fingers stroking up and down his spine and arms held tight around him. 

It’s familiar, of course it is, because this is how Robert always held him after when it was intense and more than just sex, but it’s not meant to be. Aaron will assess it later, when he’s alone and hating himself for his choices. Right now he has to make it clear, remind Robert that this meant nothing, that it’s supposed to mean nothing. 

He gets Robert to untangle his arms and gets up to move away, taking the condom off his softening dick, ties it off and sets it down with a reminder in the back of his brain to bin it soon. “I’m gonna shower, can you see yourself out?” There, simple and straight to the point. _It didn’t mean anything, get out._ But Aaron can’t even look Robert in the eye when he says it. 

It’s a heartbeat or two away before Robert lets out a strangled, “Yeah.” Aaron still can’t look at him. 

Upstairs he turns the shower on, climbs in a lets the water wash away the remnants of sex. He can’t wash away the bruises or the memories of tonight. He’ll have to live with them and remember how much of a selfish bastard he was tonight. 

He doesn’t cry, wants to, but doesn’t. It’s past the point of tears over Robert and what’s been lost. He won’t do this again, will try to make sure Robert understands how sorry he is for putting him in the position to be used. It makes him feel dirty for doing it, wrong in so many ways. 

This will be one of his bad memories. he’ll lock it up with the others and only look at them when he wants to cause himself pain. He’s sure this one will definitely do the trick.


End file.
